Smooth Talker Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Yes, but am I the biggest dick you've ever met?"

Bryan Ferry

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

'May I have the key to your heart?'

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

How to Do Small Talk??!!

'Correct me if I'm wrong.' (Everyone holds their hand up).

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

"But I haven't finished explaining about dollar-cost-averaging." "Sorry, I didn't register for this course."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

'Did anyone ever tell you that you look lovely under the glow of these energy saver lights?'

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

The Language of Love

"I grew up in St Louis and went to school in New Jersey and have been in Brooklyn ever-since, but sure, I guess technically I'm 'from' the Black Lagoon."

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

"He's surprisingly good at small talk."

"You look so beautiful. Twinkling in the moonlight."

Snail Pattern Balding.

'For the last time: no, you could not interest me in a cold fusion experiment!'

"Idolistentopodcastsatdoublespeed. How'dyouknow?"

"We suck at this."

J. Ludlow: Soldier, Statesman, Author, Windbag.

"Give it to me straight, Doc – my mother’s driving you nuts, right?"

"Don't even bother – we missed the deadline to finish our March Madness brackets again."

"Hold your hat ! Here we go!"

"I'm the most pathetic man on earth."