Slope Smooth Talker T-Shirts

"Let me tell you Belinda. . . you certainly don't belong on the beginner's slope."

Bryan Ferry

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

Ski lift mobile

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

'I'll clobber the first joker who ask me if I enjoyed my 'Winter Break'!'

'First of all, relax.'

'May I have the key to your heart?'

Ski kicker.

I'll admit I haven't been waiting all my life to meet you, but I have waited through a rough pencil sketch, the inking process and Photoshop lettering. Surely that's worth something! !?!

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

"So, do you walk the talk? Replete the tweet? Sext the text?"

'Correct me if I'm wrong.' (Everyone holds their hand up).

The Language of Love

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

'I said, 'Left after the bunny slope! Left!'.'

Watch out For Falling Skiers.

Skiing Accidents.

Santa's Workshop. Ernie runs that sanding machind here. He says that makes him a "smooth operator."

Skiers rolling down slope in snow

You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that? Many times. How would you like to be the "after" image in my new ad touting the health benefits of our new nonfat kale macchiato. Let me guess: You'd also like an old picture of me where I was weak and puny, so you can claim that's the "before" picture. Don't worry, I've got that part covered. Something about you looked different today, Rudy. Would you like fries with that observation?

That's a shame. What's a shame? Did I do something wrong, officer? TSA. Yes, you did. You let your boyfriend turn you down. So what if he's 15,000 miles away in Russia? If I were your man, I'd never let that stop me. I would fly to the ends of the earth for you. This routing ever work for you? Good lord this routine must work for you.

'. . .So that's two brandies, one Gin and Tonic and two rums!'

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

Algebra Research Center: Come In We're Slopin'

Winter Roadwork...

"I never know whether I should get good goggles I'll lose after three runs, or cheap ones I can't see out of after five runs."

'I never know whether I should get good gloves that I'll lose after three runs, or cheap gloves that'll fall apart after five runs.'

And now bring the girls!

J. Ludlow: Soldier, Statesman, Author, Windbag.

'Just a few more lessons on the training skis, and you'll be ready for a solo run, Mrs. Trimble.'

'For the last time: no, you could not interest me in a cold fusion experiment!'

"Let's hope his sale pitches are better than his passes."

"Compliments of the gentleman who obviously has no issues with rejection."

Detox meets Botox.