Smooth Talker Admirer T-Shirts

That's a shame. What's a shame? Did I do something wrong, officer? TSA. Yes, you did. You let your boyfriend turn you down. So what if he's 15,000 miles away in Russia? If I were your man, I'd never let that stop me. I would fly to the ends of the earth for you. This routing ever work for you? Good lord this routine must work for you.

Bryan Ferry

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"I like you because you have absolutely no agenda."

'May I have the key to your heart?'

I'll admit I haven't been waiting all my life to meet you, but I have waited through a rough pencil sketch, the inking process and Photoshop lettering. Surely that's worth something! !?!

Chorister's Loose Teeth

"So, do you walk the talk? Replete the tweet? Sext the text?"

'Correct me if I'm wrong.' (Everyone holds their hand up).

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

The Language of Love

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

'I couldn't afford flowers, but I got a really good deal on Kenny G.'

You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that? Many times. How would you like to be the "after" image in my new ad touting the health benefits of our new nonfat kale macchiato. Let me guess: You'd also like an old picture of me where I was weak and puny, so you can claim that's the "before" picture. Don't worry, I've got that part covered. Something about you looked different today, Rudy. Would you like fries with that observation?

"Come at me, Bro!"

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

"Give it to me straight, Doc – my mother’s driving you nuts, right?"

'For the last time: no, you could not interest me in a cold fusion experiment!'

J. Ludlow: Soldier, Statesman, Author, Windbag.

"You have the right to remain inanimate, but anything you do mime may be used against you in a court of law"

Detox meets Botox.

"You can try all you want, but being smooth is just something you're born with."

"Let's hope his sale pitches are better than his passes."

"Compliments of the gentleman who obviously has no issues with rejection."

'I've always been attracted to tall women. Someone I can - you know - climb.'

"Sure you remember me. I'm the guy who collapsed here last night... right in front of your... and had to be rushed to the hospital."

The final stage of Terminal Political Correctness.

"Is there a reason you haven't done any work?"

"I prefer to think of it as travel size."

Seductive lines that just don't cut it.

Mime Artist Begging Without Words

"Let me tell you Belinda. . . you certainly don't belong on the beginner's slope."

Schmoozing 101

"How much do you want to take out? How much do you weigh?"

"Ah – the good, the bad, and the god-awful."