Straight Talk Admirer T-Shirts

"Give it to me straight, Doc – my mother’s driving you nuts, right?"

TV jester.

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

"I like you because you have absolutely no agenda."

Hairstyles

"He's such a gentleman, he didn't use a 'mating call' to attract me: he's developed a 'please join me on a date' call..."

Vote For Me!

"Let's just do the top layer."

'It's a whole new twist - a straight-laced detective who does everything by the book.'

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

"You think you're brave? I read Hebrew in front of a live audience."

'I heard you mom is really strict.'

"Which one of you is Mr. Wakefield?"

Augmented reality check

"And, of course, I want to thank all the little people!"

'Eleven foot poles - For things you wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole...'

"Wow! Why do you have no tattoos?"

"Yeah, I tried beaver once too, but I didn't like the woody after-taste..."

'New plant? New hairdo?'

Comic Relief

"Excuse me, where did you get those sandals?"

Urinanalyst.

A Bad Time for John Thomas.

"The Americans and North-Korean leader then went on to admire each other's hairstyles."

Tattoos & Super Powers Removed

"How many times must I tell you not to speak metaphorically?"

Comedians: Before and after political corectness.

How's My Walking?

Joe Biden

'I'm looking for marriage and kids. Hi, what's your name?'

"The birds and the bees? I'd rather learn about sex."

Man reads a man's tattoos instead of his newspaper.

"Now that is one big ass hat."

Hip hop dude to dog, "Home, boy."