Straight-shooter Admirer T-Shirts

"You have to admire their straightforwardness."

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"What old school? This is my life."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Warrior Woman

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"I like you because you have absolutely no agenda."

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

"Come in, minion."

'Where does it hurt?'

Posh man taking his dog clay pigeon shooting

A hunter hitting his first bird.

"Oh, it's a grand day for Harvard!"

"I think that one is a little too honest."

'Let's cut out the mumbo jumbo and get to the nitty gritty.'

The Army of the Potomac- A Sharpshooter on Picket Duty

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

'It's a whole new twist - a straight-laced detective who does everything by the book.'

An unlicensed acupuncturist

"I've gone for a retro phone."

Freia and the apples of eternal youth

Alexander Pushkin

Charles Dickens

"That isn't allowed either."

Anthony Trollope

'I heard you mom is really strict.'

Tarnhelm

'Nowadays kiddo, we just need to herd the sheep, but my grandfather had to protect them from wolves!'

Bowtox.

'It's a knight in British army issue shining armour' - Knight in string vest and underpants

'It's from Goldilocks's lawyer. Apparently, she's suing us because she burnt her mouth on the hot porridge.'

"Try and stop me if you’ve heard this one before …"

'It's okay that you missed the bullseye. What's important is that you always aimed high.'