Smoky Storyteller Gifts

"We've got kind of a noir thing happening here, Manny. The girlie cigarette doesn't exactly add."

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

Support Group for a Good Problem

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

A vampire in a canoe.

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"The knights of the round accent table"

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

"... and the sales call was coming from inside the house!"

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

Camping.

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

'One of the first rules, kids, be sure to watch where you step.'

',,,And we'd really like a heart for the Tin Man,,,'

Do it! Go into the woods alone!...

Tim Burton

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

"...and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

"I was hoping summer camp would be more ... campy."

Sunny with a chance of Helium

"See, dear, it's only an owl hooting...."

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

Scouts made this for me