Smoking Contemplator Gifts

Professional woman in pub

Sisyphus during Covid

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

The Anti-Materialist

'...at least it's done something for our image.'

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

"Son when I'm gone, all this will be yours!"

"The idea at 3 am. The idea at 7 am."

Having flexibility over where and when you work, can help with your productivity.

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'

Boyfriend Shirt.

Questioning

Albert Camus.

'He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, who cares...'

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

"I'm going on a retreat."

"Goddess of Good give me strength! I must. . . get. . . off. . . the. . . internet!"

"I wonder what happened in all those other timelines?"

Practical Angst: 'I could sit here thinking about my problems until the cows come home, and then I'd have to stop thinking and go and feed them, so I might as well not think to start with.'

A month of Sundays

Tieing smoking to the stock market: 'Are you kidding! I can't quit while the market is so volatile!'

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

The nearness of you.

"Crap."

'Nobody takes you seriously? -- Are you trying to be funny?'

The Master Switch

Grim Reaper helpfully offers a smoker a light.

'We have valet smoking, sir.'

'Some smokers still resent no smoking signs...'

'Allowing prayer time at work...It's a disgrace!'

"My legacy? I've consistently avoided being labelled as 'compassionate' anything."

Sad Humour

Really? A date with me is like a religious experience? How so? It reminds me of snake-handling.

"And the best-case scenario? How many more?"