Smokers Gifts

"Mum thinks smoking is anti-social!"

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

"You can't do that in here, buddy!"

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

Men gossiping

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Punk Reindeer

'Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I smoke?'

Someone needs to tell him that having Churchillian leadership skills requires more than a 10'' havana

Smoking Area. Oh, I don't smoke. I'm just addicted to ten-minute breaks.

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'I'm an atheist!'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'Do you mind!!?'

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

'I hate having to go outside for a cigarette!'

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'I started as an office boy and growled my way to the top.'

Professional woman in pub

Merry Christmas.

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

Punk rocker passing punk codger in street.

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

"Darlin', I finally figured out the true meaning of life. It's a well=worn chair, a nasty old pipe, cheap brandy and a moth-eaten dog with a sphincter problem."

Richard Hughes.

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"Shoulda brought the weed."

Pelobong

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

"I can really taste my food since giving up smoking, so I've started again."

'He's just come back from another management training course.'