Smoking Gifts

"Shall we join the ladies?"

'if you have to ask how much, you can't afford to influence a candidate.'

"Whatever isn't cigarette butts in there is Harold."

Man's dentures hold cigar.

'I don't know what you're complaining about. I should charge you for breathing my second hand smoke. This happens to be a very expensive Cuban cigar!'

"It's just a fact of life that sometimes bad things happen to good cigars."

Oversized Cigar

"If it's just the one after dinner I don't mind."

'I need a plane I can fly high enough each day to smoke my cigars without offending anyone.'

'Most of your support comes from short, bald, cigar smoking, fat men.'

"Ahhh, the Cubans know the kind of treats to leave out for Santa on a cold winter's night."

"If we're done grousing about Cuba, let's have in to those cigars."

'I've cut down to one a day.'

Havana Cigars Limited

Man can't reach to light huge cigar.

'It's not you, it's your carbon footprint.'

'Is this the smoking area?'

'Do you think we should tell him that it takes more than a Churchillian cigar to make him inspirational'

"The tooth has to come out anyway, no reason why we can't have a little fun."

"Are you smoking or jumping?"

'Globalization never did me any harm.'

'Not for me thanks, mate - I'm only a passive smoker.'

"I see, Mr. Pipkins, we're back on the bourbon and smoking through glazed doughnuts."

'and you promise not to run off, right?'

"You smell like a chimney."

'Wot next ? ---one out of the 'SMOKING SHORTENS YOUR LIFE' packet or shall we give 'SMOKING KILLS' a go ?'

"Must I really go outside to smoke?"

"I'll keep thinking inside the box as long as they let me smoke in the box."

Smoking area

Turkey smoking a hookah.

'True, money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cognac, fine cigars and the company of beautiful women, and these make me very happy indeed.'

'Would you please ask the people at the other tables to stop coughing.' (smokers)

"Smoking or non-smoking?"

'NO. Tobacco plants do NOT count as one of your 5 vegetable portions'

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."