Smoker Gifts

Man offers coffee with smoke.

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

"Stop whining. A little cigar ash never killed anybody."

'Arrest that man, officer. His clothes simply reek of cigarette smoke.'

'He knew he was hyte when his last locofoco seemed gynecoid.'

101 uses of a dead cat: cigarette dispenser

'Hey, pal - got a light?'

'Chocolate? Got any cigarettes instead?'

You're making me breathe your poisonous smoke!

"More nicotine."

'Space is the only place I can escape criticism when I smoke my daily cigar.'

Professional woman in pub

'Not only is smoking permitted, we insist on it!'

'I think we'll pass on having wine with dinner, but thanks for the ashtray.'

'Passive smoking is bad for your health, which is why you got sued by fourteen spiders and eight mice. From now on, you're not allowed to smoke in your cellar.'

Street smokers with match and ashtray sellers.

'...And maybe they know something about passive smoking you don't.'

Man going out for a cigarette from a lighthouse.

Jean-Paul Sartre

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

Punk Reindeer

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Men gossiping

Someone needs to tell him that having Churchillian leadership skills requires more than a 10'' havana

'Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I smoke?'

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

Smoking Area. Oh, I don't smoke. I'm just addicted to ten-minute breaks.

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'I'm an atheist!'

'Do you mind!!?'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

Merry Christmas.