Smoke Detector Enthusiasts T-Shirts

I tried a nicotine patch, but I found that the smoke alarm works better.

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"What?!"

Remote control car breakdown.

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

'No smoking near the building Higgins!'

"He cooks under the guidance of a smoke alarm."

'It's bad enough they make us smoke, but now we have to smoke outside!'

Fire at the Bisto Factory

Man in pub reads book: The Joy of Cigs.

"Zumting has caused dis great trauma...any idea vhat?" "Well...we were at a red light watching the guy in the car next to us eat French fries...then...alll of a sudden, she looked right at him and he...he...lit a cigarette."

ECO gallery

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

'Hey you! You work here, don't you? You people could be in real trouble with the fire marshal for not having any smoke detectors! I assume they make regular inspections around here?'

New Year's Resolution - stop smoking.

"There's no need to shout!"

"You signal back and tell him no, you won't be popping out for a quick pint!"

'No big deal, Kemosabe -- Just the Chief giving another campaign speech,'

"I can hear the smoke alarm.Is dinner ready?"

"I bet if it hadn't smoked, it'd still be alive."

"I don't particularly fancy you, but you're the only one I know who still smokes.'

"We need to find the packs of filtered cigarettes."

'Hmm...maybe should sell stock before bottom drop out.'

'It's either a crank call or some idiot's set his loin cloth on fire.'

'Sometimes it's hard to take Chief Laughing Horse seriously.'

No You Hang Up

"My squaw's no idea how much these messages cost, she thinks firewood grows on trees."

Don't smoke in the house

'I always was a bit concerned about the health risks of second-hand smoke.'

"If you could cut the flirting with Cherokee Charlie, the US Cavalry would be appreciative, miss."

Welcome to Hades - No Smoking.

Smoking away money.