Smoke Detector Fans T-Shirts

'What have I told you about smoking on the job, Embleton?!'

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

"I just love candle-lit dinners."

"When Stan's barbecuing nothings ever 'well done'."

Musical Pipe

Scarecrow jumps out of a birthday cake and then catches on fire.

'This breed can smell incompetence.'

"You see them huddled outside a lot since the smoke and mirrors ban came in."

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

Just Smoke and Mirrors - Gifts For the Easily Distracted.

'Talk about advanced technology! It even has a beer holder!'

"We've come here to smoke."

"Carpenter ants."

'Dude! How many years have we been here? It's still fake. The plants are fake. Get a grip!'

Canadian wildfires

Chimp, proficient in primate speech, outsmarts a lie detector.

'Are you crazy! The nest is made of dry grass and twigs: Smoking is a massive fire harzard!'

John Boynton Priestley

'Hey you! You work here, don't you? You people could be in real trouble with the fire marshal for not having any smoke detectors! I assume they make regular inspections around here?'

Well, I don't care if the cuffs are hurting your wrists, sailor boy! I want to know what this green leafy substance is right now!... And maybe we should check that pipe of yours too, huh?

"Hey hey! Found a quarter!"

New Year's Resolution - stop smoking.

The cost of smoking

"I can hear the smoke alarm.Is dinner ready?"

"We need to find the packs of filtered cigarettes."

Metal Detectors on Treasure Island

"That's affirmative. It smells delicious. Over."

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

"We're in for a real treat tonight. Freddy's preparing his blackened swordfish."

'Another bullseye! What do you think of black poweder guns now, Ben?'

"Yeah yeah, 'monkey see, monkey do', but your mum is right: do as I say, not as I do!"

'Harlow, perhaps you should go back to SMOKING!'

Roberto Benigni.

'I prefer these imported cigarettes - they don't have a health warning.'