Smoke Alarm Expert T-Shirts

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

A consumer guide to cheese.

"When Stan's barbecuing nothings ever 'well done'."

Musical Pipe

"He cooks under the guidance of a smoke alarm."

'It's bad enough they make us smoke, but now we have to smoke outside!'

"We've come here to smoke."

'No smoking near the building Higgins!'

'You rang?'

Pipe Dream

ECO gallery

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

'Push the smoked turkey, the smoked ham, the smoked salmon...'

'Hey you! You work here, don't you? You people could be in real trouble with the fire marshal for not having any smoke detectors! I assume they make regular inspections around here?'

Well, I don't care if the cuffs are hurting your wrists, sailor boy! I want to know what this green leafy substance is right now!... And maybe we should check that pipe of yours too, huh?

'You'll have to get off that now. I need to make an important call.'

"No smoking, except in designated Fire and Brimstone areas."

"Ok, one finger means fastball, two fingers means curve, three fingers means changeup...and quite often I'll flash you the middle finger, because I've always hated your guts!"

The cost of smoking

"That's affirmative. It smells delicious. Over."

"I can hear the smoke alarm.Is dinner ready?"

'Sometimes it's hard to take Chief Laughing Horse seriously.'

"There's no need to shout!"

No You Hang Up

"My squaw's no idea how much these messages cost, she thinks firewood grows on trees."

"You signal back and tell him no, you won't be popping out for a quick pint!"

'Hmm...maybe should sell stock before bottom drop out.'

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

"If you ask me, the fire has the most potential, but it's the smoke that has people talking."

'Your years of smoking like a chimney have taken their toll.'

Don't smoke in the house

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

'I always was a bit concerned about the health risks of second-hand smoke.'

"Uh-oh...Today the ghosts are not happy!"