Smirk Psychologist Pillows

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Garden variety allergies."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

Sheep Ledger

'I took a couple of years off after college to work on my smirk.'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"I owe all my success to the psychiatrist who gave me the word GREED as my mantra!"

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

Psychological Warfare Target Practice

Sensory confusion syndrome.

"You're the 'child psychologist'?"

'I'm worried, Master has suddenly developed a morbid obsession: He asks me to play dead all the time now...'

"And how long have you had this superiority complex?"

"Did you notice the smirk on his face when he said 'enjoy'?"

"His last words were 'Yodel-ay-he-hoo.'"

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

'Rorschach multiple-choice test'

"You don't need a second opinion. I told MY therapist all about you and she agrees you're nuts!"

Saturday was fantasy dysfunctional relationship day.

'Sorry, sir, but we don't have a category for that.'

'Since I also believe you are a rabbit, Mr Curtlow, I am uncertain as to how to proceed.'

"And this is one of the nurses who'll be blamed if the surgeon kills your husband."

"The smile is courtesy of Photoshop."

"How bout ya slip a $20 in there for me too.".." (man talking to another about the church offering plate)

"And the first question is. . . What the f**k are you looking at. . ??"

"I do enjoy group activities."

'I'm sorry, but zoning laws only allows roads made out of lo-cal gravel.'

"How long have you felt purrfect?"

"Thank you for trusting and opening up today Dave. That's what therapy is all about. We'll expound on your sexual attraction to your gold fish in our next session, and also discuss in more detail your overwhelming desire to sleep with three cucumbers."

"Ahhhh! It's great to be back in the city and to breath it's early morning ninety eight per cent carbon monoxide air."