Quirky Psychologist Admirer Pillows

"You're the 'child psychologist'?"

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"When I was a puppy, I barked as a puppy, I understood as a puppy, I thought as a puppy. But when I became a dog, I put away puppy things except for my shabby, old, beat-up stuffy toy. I still freaking love this thing."

No one knew it, but Gerald was about to execute what he called 'The Move.'"

"What a coincidence! I enjoy sleeping and running around the house for no reason, too."

A mad scientist.

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

'I'm worried, Master has suddenly developed a morbid obsession: He asks me to play dead all the time now...'

"We laugh, but it's a mirthless laugh."

"And how long have you had this superiority complex?"

"Trick or treat, mouse!"

The Neighbours from Hell....

"I'm a funny little person so I'm looking to adopt a funny little dog. Do you have one?"

Saturday was fantasy dysfunctional relationship day.

"You don't need a second opinion. I told MY therapist all about you and she agrees you're nuts!"

Hadleyville Has-Beens

'Since I also believe you are a rabbit, Mr Curtlow, I am uncertain as to how to proceed.'

"Lost our grant...please help."

'Oh yeah. . . she's the one that has a great personality.'

'Yes, but he's a very moderate graffiti artist -- he uses sticky notes.'

I make the aquaintance of Miss Mowcher

An over ambitious pushy parent reading a book about child development while ignoring her child's emotional needs.

Sign on a shopper: 'Yes actually I do own the pavement'.

"Boy, this guy is good!"

'That jerk who thinks he's always looked-down on is here.'

Quilp's grotesque politeness

'All of your issues are prickly issues.'

'This is coming from someone who drinks from a toilet bowl.'

"Relax. Just be yourselves."

"Well, there are cat people and dog people and..."

'At least getting run over by a hearse fit his sense of humour.'

You're a Hell of a Squirrel but You're Still a Squirrel

No Frills Psychiatrist.