Quirky Psychologist Admirer Pillows

"You're the 'child psychologist'?"

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"When I was a puppy, I barked as a puppy, I understood as a puppy, I thought as a puppy. But when I became a dog, I put away puppy things except for my shabby, old, beat-up stuffy toy. I still freaking love this thing."

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

No one knew it, but Gerald was about to execute what he called 'The Move.'"

"What a coincidence! I enjoy sleeping and running around the house for no reason, too."

You're making me very angry right now, Al. Did you know that before Rorschach came up with his inkblot test, he had one that involved blood spatters?

A mad scientist.

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

"If he has any talent whatsoever, I'll be rich!"

"And how long have you had this superiority complex?"

"Trick or treat, mouse!"

The Neighbours from Hell....

"We laugh, but it's a mirthless laugh."

'I'm worried, Master has suddenly developed a morbid obsession: He asks me to play dead all the time now...'

"I'm a funny little person so I'm looking to adopt a funny little dog. Do you have one?"

Hadleyville Has-Beens

"You don't need a second opinion. I told MY therapist all about you and she agrees you're nuts!"

Saturday was fantasy dysfunctional relationship day.

'Since I also believe you are a rabbit, Mr Curtlow, I am uncertain as to how to proceed.'

"Lost our grant...please help."

'Yes, but he's a very moderate graffiti artist -- he uses sticky notes.'

I make the aquaintance of Miss Mowcher

'Oh yeah. . . she's the one that has a great personality.'

An over ambitious pushy parent reading a book about child development while ignoring her child's emotional needs.

Sign on a shopper: 'Yes actually I do own the pavement'.

"Boy, this guy is good!"

'All of your issues are prickly issues.'

'This is coming from someone who drinks from a toilet bowl.'

Quilp's grotesque politeness

You're a Hell of a Squirrel but You're Still a Squirrel

'At least getting run over by a hearse fit his sense of humour.'

"Well, there are cat people and dog people and..."

'That jerk who thinks he's always looked-down on is here.'

"Relax. Just be yourselves."