Smirk Psychologist Gifts

"I can't hold it together much longer. . . If Bradley doesn't wipe that smug, self-satisfied smirk off his face soon, I swear I'll kill him."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Garden variety allergies."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

Sheep Ledger

'I took a couple of years off after college to work on my smirk.'

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

"I owe all my success to the psychiatrist who gave me the word GREED as my mantra!"

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

You're making me very angry right now, Al. Did you know that before Rorschach came up with his inkblot test, he had one that involved blood spatters?

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

Psychological Warfare Target Practice

"You're the 'child psychologist'?"

Sensory confusion syndrome.

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

"His last words were 'Yodel-ay-he-hoo.'"

"And how long have you had this superiority complex?"

'I'm worried, Master has suddenly developed a morbid obsession: He asks me to play dead all the time now...'

"Did you notice the smirk on his face when he said 'enjoy'?"

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

'I've been having a lot of out of potty experiences, lately.'

'Rorschach multiple-choice test'

Saturday was fantasy dysfunctional relationship day.

"Why don't I go brush my teeth."

"You don't need a second opinion. I told MY therapist all about you and she agrees you're nuts!"

'Sorry, sir, but we don't have a category for that.'

'Since I also believe you are a rabbit, Mr Curtlow, I am uncertain as to how to proceed.'

"The smile is courtesy of Photoshop."

"And this is one of the nurses who'll be blamed if the surgeon kills your husband."

"And the first question is. . . What the f**k are you looking at. . ??"

"I do enjoy group activities."

"How bout ya slip a $20 in there for me too.".." (man talking to another about the church offering plate)

'I'm sorry, but zoning laws only allows roads made out of lo-cal gravel.'

"How long have you felt purrfect?"

'I hear voices.'