Smash Striker Gifts

Badminton player.

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

'Champions league'

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"It may have been just a kick-about in the garden, but Eric took things very seriously."

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

'I can't decide weather to have a feisty or a sassy management style.'

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

Football Skills

Wilfried Zaha

"What a midfield wizard!"

Snooker.

'Do you promise to brush up on such matters as the Large Hadron Collider?'

"Some fall harder than others."

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

Skeets Champion.

"Apparently the way to a man's heart is through his six pack."

"If only he made goals all of the time instead of just at the beginning of the year."

I love badminton.

Upon winning another bowling championship, Dalton throws his ball to the spectators.

'As I've been told by my union, I went out on strike and I will succeed - I'm a one-man company!'

Destroying Music Speakers.

Goalie sitting in middle of full park bench waiting for player to shoot

'He was pretending to be playing for Manchester United when he collapsed with exhaustion.'

'For the record I find creamed asparagus evil too.'

UCU University Lecturer's Strike

"Anyone for tennis?"

Golfer hanging from tree trying a tricky chip out of the rough.

Redneck Snooker

'-and now, everyone's favourite!'