Future Striker Gifts

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

Football Skills

Football Fans

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

Exercising

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

Children playing football.

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

A boy with a football

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

Futsal

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

Big Football

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

'We're going to insist that he at least finish kindergarten before entering the NBA draft.'

Footballer Dreaming of the Football as Sack of Money

'Boy, I love pretending to be Jens Lehmann...Now I can go home to watch football on TV!'

Boy holding football.

"Papi, will I be the first in our family to go to college?"

'Not everyone can make it as a professional footballer!' 'I know dad, there are snooker and darts players...'

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

'Save some purrs for when I play quarterback for the Saints.'

David Beckham

'Don't feel bad. Maybe your son is just a late bloomer.'

"If only he made goals all of the time instead of just at the beginning of the year."

STRIP *The Fan * "Let Garry McAllister be you inspiration."

Upon winning another bowling championship, Dalton throws his ball to the spectators.

'My Dad said I'll be an international goalkeeper when I grow up!'

"I could do that!"

I worry that your camp concentrates too much on soccer. I'm ok, mom. Really. Specializing is bad for your joints and muscles. Chill, mom. I'm cross-training. Oh. I have very well-conditioned thumbs.

Chicken lays a football.

"That's so typical of men..."