Little Striker Gifts

Goalie sitting in middle of full park bench waiting for player to shoot

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

'Champions league'

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

'The team we're playing tonight is good 'cause I heard they know how to turn and stop!'

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

'Pick up Carlson on the end, he's got proven performance data.'

'I got an 'F' in penmanship, but it doesn't matter. I plan on becoming a doctor.'

Football Skills

Wilfried Zaha

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

Snooker.

"Some fall harder than others."

Back to School

"I am studying the alphabet. I'm watching ABC."

'Did you know I have 3000 bones in my body?'

How the Fiddle Stays Fit.

Captive Audience.

'I hear you played football instead of going to school.'

Football

"Yes, you should have studied harder and no, you can't unsubscribe from 5th grade."

'Is there a secret handshake or anything I should know?'

'One day you'll be able to 'sack' a football manager.'

'Someday I'll go to school like the big kids!'

"If only he made goals all of the time instead of just at the beginning of the year."

"Papi, I need a cash infusion of $100 because recent disruptions in the market are straining my cash flow."

'I find that if you roll your sleeves down before you go in for dinner, you don't have to wash so much.'