Smart Car Owner Gifts

"Is that one of those cars that tells you when it needs maintenance?"

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

Darn it - Every time I try to text, my smart car pulls to the side of the road.

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

Man whistles while driving his car.

"According to my calculations that shouldn't have happened."

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

"Harry, you're wrong on every level."

"I stole a smart car and it took me straight to the police department."

'Oversensitive Car Alarm'

Useless car accessories.

GPS: 'Sorry return to the main road.'

Spring Damage.

"That's the problem with imports. Most of them come from another country."

Man sees boar running down road and yells, 'Road Hog!'

'Smart bloke.'

Intelligent Technology - blessing or curse?

Honey, I'm stuck in another pot-hole!

"Will you please shut up! I'm trying to talk to Alexa!"

How is it going with your voice-controlled, self-driving car? We aren't communicating very well. I said I "need to go fast" and it took me to a calorie-restricting diet center. It's very frustrating! Back there I shouldn't have added "This car is driving me up a wall."

Will Self-Driving car

'I have arrested it Sarge, I caught it speeding and it refused to cooperate?'

"I programmed our smart Christmas tree to throw out boring gifts, like socks, shirts and pants."

"I stole a smart car- it texted the police and picked me out in an identity parade."

Seatbelt Use

My Smart Car keeps pulling toward the library.

'Off hand, I'd say your problem is caused by your car's computer.'

"First."

'I see the problem.' Car grill looks like teeth.