Slow Walker Club Gifts

'I guess we both enjoy long slow walks together.'

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

The What's-The-Hurry? Institute

Sloth traffic jam.

'I need to get a bigger place.'

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"Don't tell the boss, but I'm leaving early to beat the traffic."

"What do you mean you want to slow things down?"

Rex is suddenly regretting having offered to help the old lady cross the road...

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

"Anyone home?"

Well, for me it's either a one-minute ride on the bus or a two-hour walk...

'You can speed it up if you want.'

"I tried hurrying once, but it didn't get me anywhere."

Actions speak louder than words. Please move slowly.

'Better slow it down a bit.'

'On your mark...'

"Easy does it, Ralph."

They're using our @#$% slipstream again.

"I shouldn't have gone to freshen up at the interval: The second act was almost over by the time I reached my seat again..."

I'd join you, but this dratted self-timer only waits for ten seconds!

"It's great to be a part of an online community that shares your interests!"

In 'n out lung transplant.

"They look pretty angry Bob! We should consider letting them play through..."

I've been fired from the Marching Band: I couldn't keep up...

Speedwalking "This makes all those funny looks I've gotten over the years seem worth it!"

Let's face it, it just wasn't for us

"Can you bring me some booze and fags Noah?"

Oh, shit. Stuck behind a dog walker.