Slow Surfer Gifts

Boredband Internet

Snail Racing

'Ever since I started reading the newswpaper online, he's been bringing my computer to me.'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

'Research shows that while the number of surfers is somewhat constant over the year, there is a sudden increase in casual bathers over Summer...'

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

'I need to get a bigger place.'

"Mum, Mum, can we go to the beach to play in the surf?"

The End of the Internet

Rex is suddenly regretting having offered to help the old lady cross the road...

"Don't tell the boss, but I'm leaving early to beat the traffic."

Gus never found the perfect wave

That was a messy wave, nearly lost it there Jake! ...Jake?

'I never know whether I should get good gloves that I'll lose after three runs, or cheap gloves that'll fall apart after five runs.'

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

"Giddyup!. . . Damn. I think I just wasted 500 bucks."

It's The Highway For People Who Hate To Drive

Kids! I hope you're not playing with my new surfboard again...

"Honey, stay out of water today. Those waves look awfully rough."

"I tried hurrying once, but it didn't get me anywhere."

'Dudes Surf's Up.'

Retired Snails.

There's no hurry --- Time and tide wait for nomads.

'Are we there yet?'

"Are we there yet."

Actions speak louder than words. Please move slowly.

"Goodbye, Alice. I've got to get this California thing out of my system."

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

'On your mark...'

Princess Snail Ride

'I still have a soft spot for my ex- like quicksand!'

Snail dreams of Motor Home.

"We've been intersnailing."

A woman glides down a water slide

"What's a good board for someone who gets out in the water once a year but talks about surfing incessantly?"