Skeptical Surfer Gifts

The End of the Internet

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Stock market investment advice

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

Portaloo Tidal Wave.

101 uses of a dead cat: surf board.

"Hmm... I wonder what I can find to trigger my self-righteous indignation today..?"

'It's not a Ponzi scheme. It's a Ponzi FUND.'

"I forgot my password, so I created a new one. Then, I forgot that one, so I created a new one. Maybe you were right. I should write them down."

'Another sad attempt at improvisational cartooning'

"I guess I can’t prove I exist either."

"My husband and I have been unsuccessful in booking our holiday over the internet"

'Get rich quick schemes - $1,000,000 each.'

Truth in labeling: If it sounds too good to be true. . . investments, stocks, bonds & mutual funds - formally fly-by nite investments.

Annoying things about the beach.

'It's a matter of interpretation...to a politician 'contract' like 'manifesto' simply means an 'empty promise'.'

"Can I be in the control group?"

'He doesn't use drinking fountains. He can't swim.'

Some black sheep at the financial consulting branch are working with cheap tricks.

'I still have a soft spot for my ex- like quicksand!'

'I'd rather hear about the more relevant pyramiding schemes.'

There is a new Reaper in town

"I've never been much of a beach guy."

'When the computer senses that you are in a hurry, it automatically slows down.'

Investments: Free Box Of Cuban Cigars If You Invest In Our 'Cuba Fund'.

'Now, this placebo is recommened by four out of five doctors.'

'If caller ID shows our number, it's just a tricky telemarketer...but in case I'm wrong you'd better answer to see what you want.'

Investment firm - Dept. of Rumor Research and Verification.

'Why do you keep wasting your money on this rubbish?'

"My broker swears they're a great investment but I fear it's just another pyramid scheme."

"You're not fooling me again, buddy, I gave you money for a coffee last week. . . and I'm still waiting for it!"