Slow Reader Supporter Gifts

Library Returns

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

James Joyce.

Sloth traffic jam.

"Cricket...six minutes of excitement crammed into six hours!"

'Just a minute, officer. I found a loophole in this law book!'

Mountaineering section

'What's this, lad? Didn't I tell you not to carry anything heavy!'

"That's a nice little book. It didn't waste too much of my time."

Superhero Rescues Books.

A tortoise

Sign outside tortoise shell: 'Out to lunch'.

"It took me 4 years to finish my book!"

'Is your boyfriend working late?' 'No... He's a slow reader.'

"He says he's three months late because of Readers' Block!"

"Mr. Green and I should be there in about 2 hours!"

Tortoise: I've been fired from the Marching Band: I couldn't keep up...

"It's those creative types you ought to be checking on."

"It's called a 'bookmark.' It's like a 'save progress' option."

I'd join you, but this dratted self-timer only waits for ten seconds!

'So, the paper's a little messed-up after I've been reading it ... big deal!'

"No, your book didn't 'lock up' on you. You actually have to turn the page."

A man reading whilst running.

'Sorry, I don't brake for small animals.'

Wife: 'So how was your Speed-Reading class honey?!' a man who couldn't handle the pace of a Speed Reading class enters his flatapartment injuried with a trail of pages behind him on the ground

"That's made with absolutely no preservatives, so I'd eat it in the next three hours."

Library: Silence

'Three weeks - and he hasn't finished the first paragraph!'

'How come it takes him so long to read that?'

"Boy is this guy a slow reader."

"You're trapped in the world's slowest book club."

'Frankly Mum, I'd rather read a book quietly than frolic around the paddock...'

"Yes, we have self help books on overcoming shyness."

'Maybe they will let us play through.'