Slow Reader Enthusiast Gifts

'Three weeks - and he hasn't finished the first paragraph!'

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

'It was a real scroller. I couldn't put down my screen.'

'Read any good Apps lately?'

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

Monster Self-Help

'It doesn't take much to please him these days.'

A man and his dog both reading.

Megabyte Information Processing Center.

'A positive review of the book and a negative review of the presentation.'

'You were a book all along.'

'Jack wants to stay home and rad books, and I wanted him to take up roller skating, so we compromised.'

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

Flower lamp.

I just bought a new Kindle Voyage. It's much better than my Kindle Paperwhite. Blasphemy, little buddy. A real man lugs around a paperback that he's milled from a fallen Redwood that he lifted off of a baby deer, before reuniting the fawn with its mother. I bought if off of Amazon. I didn't even use "one-click." I used the shopping cart and chose all the options manually. Almost as impressive. I keep it old-school.

"Mom, I can't get this book to turn on."

Books or Junk Food.

'Just a minute, officer. I found a loophole in this law book!'

Tripled his reading speed with no loss in comprehension.

"They've worked out the can save money by sharing toilet reading material."

Modern Studying

'When I was ready to read, they taught me to tie my shoes - when I was ready to tie my shoes, they taught me to read.'

"Don't tell the boss, but I'm leaving early to beat the traffic."

'He's in the library.'

'What's this, lad? Didn't I tell you not to carry anything heavy!'

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

'I see you've dressed to go clubbing.'

"That's a nice little book. It didn't waste too much of my time."

'Do you have The Jungle Book? I don't know why, but he's desperate to read it.'