Slow-paced Game Watcher Gifts

"Are you watching these soccer games?"

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Bowled over again!

"I AM at my usual position."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'Hey, hey, hey!'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Watching the football.

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

Kick! Go for it!

Strike 3! 'Dammit - all I can think about is that $5,350,000!'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

"Cricket...six minutes of excitement crammed into six hours!"

End of football season - UK

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

Octopus in the bleachers.

'World Cup? Nobody told me there was a football match on!'

'I thought you wanted to get more involved with sports.'

They called her the Olympic Flame because she never went out.

"Want to come over Sunday, watch the game, and help me start dreading Monday?"

Footbalistas - A group of people passionately dedicated to the all-day broadcast of professional sports."

'The object is to get the ball into either of those two nets.' - 'It would help if the men didn't get in each other's way so much.'