Watching Games Gifts

'What'd I miss?'

'OK, everyone just chill out a minute! I need some time to process all of this.'

"Want to come over Sunday, watch the game, and help me start dreading Monday?"

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until March Madness is over before turning off my electricity?'

'Can you turn the game on? I need to know when halftime is over, so I can get back to play.'

Warning: adopt players as role models at your own risk...

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

'Don't panic! Remain perfectly still. Do not make eye contact. If he attacks, curl into a fetal position and play dead.'

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'I thought you wanted to get more involved with sports.'

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

'Hey, hey, hey!'

The Angry Footballer

Sports Fan.

"Pace yourself big man! You're fatigued and the footy season has just begun!"

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

"He cost a million pounds, they should've spent another tenner on a pair of glasses."

"He forgot to record the game, so he had to watch it live. The 1,284 commercials was too much for him to handle."

"You know a game is close when every time you watch the replay the result changes."

Scissors vendor.

'Pass this down, please.'

"Guns and alcohol! Hey, I've got guns and alcohol!"

Andrés Iniesta

Highlights from when the team didn't stink...

'Excuse me, sirs, I think the penalty is enforced from the succeeding spot.'

Bears Win!!!

'Your team has been mathematically eliminated since June. Why are you still watching them?' 'I like the suspense.'

Babe Ruth's less famous call of a dribbler down the third base line.

"She's a little overworked but, depending on what happens next Sunday, I'll probably jump back on."

'Cheer up Rosi, how about I get some nice cans of larger and we watch the football this afternoon?'

Rooting for your team.

"What happened, honey? Was your team defeated again?"

"I was watching the ball game, having a good time, when all of a sudden there was this insurance company commercial."

Nobody has been on the this team longer, without actually playing in a game than you guys. We're setting a benchmark!