Slope Sleuth T-Shirts

'Good! And now - by simply shifting your weight - begin to carve a wide, slow turn across the slope.'

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

"Don't be an idiot, Larry."

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

'OK... Technically you CAN touch your toes.'

'Dog got your clog?'

"It's two sizes too big, but it fits."

'You must have something in my size?'

Algebra Research Center: Come In We're Slopin'

Skiers

Winter Roadwork...

And now bring the girls!

"Albert was happy. He hadn't caught corona on his ski vacation nor had he broken any bones."

'I never know whether I should get good gloves that I'll lose after three runs, or cheap gloves that'll fall apart after five runs.'

"Is it too late to buy a policy?2

"Let me tell you Belinda. . . you certainly don't belong on the beginner's slope."

Skier.

Snowman Murder

"I bought it online...I guess size 2 is different in Europe."

Unusual Sports: Shooting Skiers

"Do you have this blouse in XXXXXXXXXL?"

'Where is Wally?'

"...between a medium and a large - I like to call it 'Marge'."

"I've never skied paper before."

"It's the latest in backpacking supplies. Just add water!"

"I am snowploughing!"

Experts only

The Ski Lodge That Is Equally Inconvenient To Everywhere.

'Oh sure, my shoe goes missing and all of a sudden Grayson makes the transcendent stew... I demand justice!'

Skeletons In Kenneth Starr's Closet

'Henry has sloped off again.'