Slobber Specialist Gifts

Soup of the month.

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

The Inexperienced Cook

"Well, you said your glasses needed cleaning!"

"Well, you taught him to fetch our slippers."

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'Rex, you've slobbered all over the ball! There's no way I'd put it in my mouth now!'

"Get a move on Hardwicke, we need it for the 6 o'clock news!"

Love is... when your puppy licks you face without knowing where it's been.

Swimming Champion.

'We spoil that dog.'

'Maybe you should try flowers?'

A man watching t.v. with his skull hinged open to reveal the same man watching the same t.v. . . .

"I slept funny!"

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

"I'm afraid he's right-there's nothing in here about slobber balls."

Spud U Like/Spud U Don't Like.

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

'I thought if I tried diving, I wouldn't mind a bath so much!'

I hate to tell you this, but that's a can of maple syrup, not motor oil.

"I won't be in the office today, my apathy is acting up again."

American Idle

'Baby's teething.'

Woodworkers Club Meeting, Room 23. Splinter Group, Room 24.

Dive in...

"Today we learned about multitasking while I was passing notes, giggling with Bryan, and making spitballs."

'Have you found contact lenses in your soup?'

'He's a great dog...a bit of a drooler though.'

"Cough! Cough! Cough! Hack-hack! Cough! cough! cough!"

"Don't worry, I have another savings for your treats."