Slinky Lovers T-Shirts

he tries to fly all the time but actually never gets airborne

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"I said slime."

The Snarky District

Slinky Cow World

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

Cupcake Excitement Scale

"Would you like to try them out?"

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

"Don't these fools realize they're violating every principle of feng-shui?"

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

Dramedy: "I'm leaving you."

Apocalliptical

GARDU VIN! (BEWARE!). Clown sees several pies to beware of.

Moebot

"You're overprotective. Stop telling her not to go out on a limb."

'He runs a very successful hedge fund.'

'Custard pie or not. It's still considered assault!'

Yay! A swing! - 'Cool.' - 'Uncool.' -

Feart!

'We'll return to the evening news right after this message from the Three Stooges....'

Magician makes a smell

'Gone out, Your dinners in your face'

"Just remember, when he says 'indie' he means Indianapolis."

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

'That's not funny, Fred.'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

"Isn't Jim Carrey getting too old to make Jim Carrey movies?"