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'Someone set a slinky going. Until it stops you'll have to use the stairs.'

"Look at those idiots."

"I get bored waiting for it to go down the steps. This speeds up the process."

'Can you stop messing with that slinky and come on in.'

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

Slinky Cow World

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

Life's a Bench.

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

"I meant the dog!"

Man, I could destroy a chocolate donut with sprinkles right now

'My dentist recommended it.'

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

"If I have this peanut in my pocket, it means I must have buried my keys!"

"Consider yourself chased."

'Don't be hard on the boy, dear, I'm sure that Van Gogh's first sunflowers weren't so hot.'

"Looks like he's been salted, Sarge.2

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

Why there are no Slug Surfing Champs: Premature Dissolving in Salt Water.

'Apart from Charlie here, I don't have any problems with slugs'

A squirrel talks about Margaret Atwood