Slinky Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Look at those idiots."

"I get bored waiting for it to go down the steps. This speeds up the process."

'Can you stop messing with that slinky and come on in.'

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

Slinky Cow World

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

"I meant the dog!"

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

'My dentist recommended it.'

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

"If I have this peanut in my pocket, it means I must have buried my keys!"

"Consider yourself chased."

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

'Don't be hard on the boy, dear, I'm sure that Van Gogh's first sunflowers weren't so hot.'

'Apart from Charlie here, I don't have any problems with slugs'

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

"I'm just making a few behavioral notes in my journal, then I'll chase him."

"Looks like he's been salted, Sarge.2

Why there are no Slug Surfing Champs: Premature Dissolving in Salt Water.

'Don't worry: It's perfectly normal for you to feel sluggish in the morning...'

'Success! I've just hacked into a supposedly squirrel-proof birdfeeder!'