Sleuth Of The Office T-Shirts

"Miss Duxbury, get this one checked for fingerprints!"

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Joan Hickson

Clickbait

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"I'm a brilliant stalker and love photography, so I thought: why not?"

The Modern Godot

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

Optician and the PI.

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

Secret Service Dogs

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

Two men converse secretively

'But Holmes, how did you know what the victim had for his last meal?'

What security flaw?

"The butler did it!"

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

"We do have an opening for a whistleblower, but it's only a temporary position."

'I don't get it, the company's made money, but I don't see any.'

"Just sniff around – see what you can find out."

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

'Let's go over it again: the cat is out cold, and the only clue is a little wet castle...'

"I typed the incorrect password for my online banking so much that not only did they lock me out - they locked me up."

The Banana Crime

F.B.I. An equal opportunity phone tapper without regard to race, sex, or national origin.