Sleuth Of The Office Gifts

"Miss Duxbury, get this one checked for fingerprints!"

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Joan Hickson

Clickbait

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"I'm a brilliant stalker and love photography, so I thought: why not?"

CIA. Office of Disinformation. Please Use Other Door.

The Modern Godot

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

Secret Service Dogs

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

Optician and the PI.

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

"The butler did it!"

What security flaw?

'But Holmes, how did you know what the victim had for his last meal?'

Two men converse secretively

"It's a puzzling case, Watson. For all I know, the culprit could be staring me right in the face."

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

"We do have an opening for a whistleblower, but it's only a temporary position."

'I don't get it, the company's made money, but I don't see any.'

"Just sniff around – see what you can find out."

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

'Let's go over it again: the cat is out cold, and the only clue is a little wet castle...'

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

"You have exceeded the maximum number of incorrect password attempts."

The Banana Crime