Business Sleuth Gifts

"Just sniff around – see what you can find out."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

Clickbait

Orderly Conduct of Sales

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

'Today, the market did the 'Ol' Dipsy, but recovered in the 'Doodle'.'

CIA. Office of Disinformation. Please Use Other Door.

'Oh my God! You look like you've see the FTSE.'

Have you seen my money?

Retail Worker's Thanksgiving

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

'This morning a rumor that we would buy the Arpex Corp drove our stock up $3. Around noon a rumor that Arpex would buy us drove it up another $3. And in the afternoon a rumor that wo have nothing to do with Arpex drove it up $3 more.'

"Have you heard something that the rest of us don't know about?"

"Our stock is down. Start some rumors on Wall Street that it's going up."

'We've gone through your books and we demand payment in cash.'

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

'How's the meeting going, Ed?'

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

"We're going to need the best forensic accountants money can buy."

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.

"If you look at Lexington Avenue, it is anyone's guess what's happening on the 6 train. Moving on to Broadway, I can tell you that the N and R Lines may or may not be running smoothly, while the Eighth Avenue A and C are, as always, a complete mystery."

What security flaw?

'The price or the biscuits?'

Exportation and importation in Cuba

"Nice try, Mr. Willis, but it won't make any difference."

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

The Continuing Adventures of Mel Hufnagel, Corporate Head-Hunter...

'Always bought low.'