Sleeping Beauty Admirer Gifts

"Despite her initial concerns, in time, Linda grew to appreciate the endearing qualities of Dan's sleep, sashaying."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

Cat and mouse

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work, I overslept.'

Jonathan was so sleep deprived after the arrival of his baby that he accidentally burped a workmate.

'He's working on a lullaby.'

'Man asleep in double bed with a pencil.'

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

No Right Turn (monster)

Grim's Fairytales

A couple lie in bed

"This will make the man in your life wonder where you went."

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

Skeleton Portrait Painting

Vampire shunning crucifix-in-a-can.

'Hi, we'd like to talk to you about how to prepare for life after death.'

Meet the Artist

'Phew! Hibernation breath!'

'And to mark your 50 years oversleeping...'

'What would you say about me having my spots enlarged?'

"The sleeping pills take time to work. Don't expect results overnight."

Idealized portrait of a rooster.

I think I shall never see....a poem as lovely as a tr......

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

Introducing... My Natural Hair Color!

"See how much better you look after a good nights sleep."

It was an expensive treatment, but it feels so good to be barnacle-free...

"This is a Soul Card. We deduct a small monthly fee, and you get your looks back as long as there is a positive balance."

'You were mauling in your sleep again.'