Sleep Routine Gifts

Daily Promise...

Late night teddy reading

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

Sleepwalker on treadmill

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"Don't pretend you're sleeping."

Alarmistclock

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Toothbrush Romance

'Would you like a push Dear?'

"Am I looking happy or sad in the appropriate places?"

"Hoora! I made it through another day!"

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

',,,and they all lived happily ever after, Now close your eyes and go to sleep'

"Your princess voice is kind of patronizing."

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"The prince, …. what's his back story?"

"Here’s a book with a pretty peacock on the cover. Let’s try this Flannery O’Connor story before bed."

"Sweet dreams my little tax break."

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

"I'm not saying a horrible creature lives under your bed."

The Lives of the SaintsThis Week: Frieda Witherspoon

"Read it again, Daddy!"

'She let the bedbugs bite.'