Night Routine Gifts

"No dear - there are no malcontents at odds with society under your bed."

Late night teddy reading

'That was fun!'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

Back to work...

Future garbage truck driver.

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

Bird Tweet.

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

Sleepwalker on treadmill

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

When Shakespeare gets up early, on the wrong side of the bed of a stranger, and in a clown suit... Later that same day, he will commence work on 'The Comedy of Errors.'"

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

Fear of news.

'Ahhhh?I love the smell of a staff meeting in the morning!'

Tired Barbie

French Early Bird

Have you got your make up on yet?

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Alarmistclock

Toothbrush Romance

"Great coffee, Carole."

"Don't pretend you're sleeping."

'Would you like a push Dear?'

1,572 Performances.

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"Your princess voice is kind of patronizing."

',,,and they all lived happily ever after, Now close your eyes and go to sleep'

Business man sees himself as a shark