Sleep Philosophy Buff Pillows

"They sleep all day. How wise is that?"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

"Well did he?"

"Think about the honey."

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

Do not disturb...

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

'It's not Spring yet! Go back to sleep!'

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"What's with your hair?"

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

"You were snoring."

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

'We'll take it!'