Sleep Habits Enthusiast Pillows

"You had me up all night. You were clicking in your sleep again."

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'At lone at last.'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

Alarmistclock

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

Do not disturb...

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

'It's not Spring yet! Go back to sleep!'

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

"What's with your hair?"

Let's not do anything we'll regret in the morning. I like to sleep past noon.

"You were snoring."

This is our 36th nap today - I can't read you a bedtime story EVERY time.

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

Oh, come on this insomnia is driving me nuts! Just shoot me with a tranquilizer dart, wouldja!

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

'Couldn't he just lie at the foot of the bed like other dogs?'