Sleep Mode Philosopher Pillows

"To save power, my dad goes into sleep mode. But, unlike a computer, he doesn't instantaneously awake and resume working."

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

"Well did he?"

"Think about the honey."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

"And from Newton's second law on rigid bodies it can be shown that force equals mass times acceleration...I'll show you."

'I'm sleepy all the time.'

"I'm getting paid to assist sleep research..."

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

"On your application, it says you have narcolepsy. What is that?"

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

'We tried hunting and we tried gathering, but now we usually eat out.'

'It's the most amazing case of rapid eye movement I've ever seen.'

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

The Dangers of Counting Sheep

Anesthetists always get a good nights sleep.

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

Sleep Disorder Research.

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."

'I'm not seeking any answers . . .I don't know anything . . . I'm just lazy!'

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

"Talk doesn't cook rice...but it does make it more enjoyable!"

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe'."

Narcolepsy in relationships.

'Monday morning feeling? But it's thursday!'

Man trying to get to sleep by counting cloned sheep.

"I have no idea why Stuart Little’s mother is human — don’t overthink it."

'Could you ask me how school was later? Right now I'm off-line.'

"But counting sheep makes me hungry."

"You can't sleep? Have you tried meditating, then reading for an hour, then going to the couch...."