Sleep Mode Philosopher Pillows

"To save power, my dad goes into sleep mode. But, unlike a computer, he doesn't instantaneously awake and resume working."

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

"Well did he?"

"Think about the honey."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

"And from Newton's second law on rigid bodies it can be shown that force equals mass times acceleration...I'll show you."

"I'm getting paid to assist sleep research..."

'I'm sleepy all the time.'

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

The Dangers of Counting Sheep

'We tried hunting and we tried gathering, but now we usually eat out.'

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

'It's the most amazing case of rapid eye movement I've ever seen.'

Anesthetists always get a good nights sleep.

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

Sleep Disorder Research.

'Monday morning feeling? But it's thursday!'

"Talk doesn't cook rice...but it does make it more enjoyable!"

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

"I have no idea why Stuart Little’s mother is human — don’t overthink it."

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."

Narcolepsy in relationships.

Man trying to get to sleep by counting cloned sheep.

'I'm not seeking any answers . . .I don't know anything . . . I'm just lazy!'

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe'."

'Could you ask me how school was later? Right now I'm off-line.'

"But counting sheep makes me hungry."

Changing the dream

"You can't sleep? Have you tried meditating, then reading for an hour, then going to the couch...."