Sleep Philosopher Gifts

"No, son, I don't know what decisions will be made about your social security. Good night."

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

"Well did he?"

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

"Think about the honey."

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

"What's with your hair?"

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

"You were snoring."

Let's not do anything we'll regret in the morning. I like to sleep past noon.

Oh, come on this insomnia is driving me nuts! Just shoot me with a tranquilizer dart, wouldja!

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

In the great green room there was a pot of coffee and a red-eyed dad, too. Good Morning Moon.

'She let the bedbugs bite.'