Sleep Ninja Gifts

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"Try thinking about something else."

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"I'm not napping yet, but I am getting ready to with a pre-nap warm up."

"Damn! - I slept right through my afternoon nap today. . ."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"Yours is adjustable?"

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

Sheep Ledger

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

"You're hogging the covers again!"

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

Contented man and cat sleeping

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"I object!" "Overruled!"

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?