Sleep-deprived Warrior Gifts

"Mom? Are you awake?"

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

"Mommy is taking the nap that you refused to take."

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

"Getting her to sleep is like going to the opera. It takes place in stages, there's a lot of yelling, and by the end everyone's starting to nod off."

"I'll give you 15 minutes, no biting."

This has been a test of the emergency bathroom warning system….

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

'Why George, why?'

'Actually, we better play it safe and make it 2:30 a.m.'

There Are Two Rules to Baby Club......

'You tossed and turned all night.'

Dad cries as baby's crying keeps him from sleeping at night.

"Call him Koffee- he keeps us awake!"

Rings beneath your eyes mean that you have children.

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

"First break since 2008."

Tired Barbie

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

The Dangers of Not Getting Enough Sleep...

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

'I can't sleep. I'm too awake.'

"So much for 'sleeping like a baby.'"

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

"Puffiness and dark circles under the eyes, sniffles, trouble sleeping, rashes...you don't have allergies...you have children."

Tired - Stressed - Tired.

Man has a dream about a clumsy sheep.

'...and that M'tud, concludes the case for the prosecution.'

"Are you ready for the working breakfast?"

'Yawn! I'll toss you to see who goes...'

'What makes you think that he doesn't want you?'

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

"They say yoga is good for insomnia."