Sleep-deprived Warrior Pillows

"Mom? Are you awake?"

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

"Mommy is taking the nap that you refused to take."

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

"Getting her to sleep is like going to the opera. It takes place in stages, there's a lot of yelling, and by the end everyone's starting to nod off."

"I'll give you 15 minutes, no biting."

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

'Why George, why?'

'Actually, we better play it safe and make it 2:30 a.m.'

There Are Two Rules to Baby Club......

'You tossed and turned all night.'

Dad cries as baby's crying keeps him from sleeping at night.

"Call him Koffee- he keeps us awake!"

Rings beneath your eyes mean that you have children.

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

"First break since 2008."

Tired Barbie

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

'I can't sleep. I'm too awake.'

"So much for 'sleeping like a baby.'"

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

Tired - Stressed - Tired.

Man has a dream about a clumsy sheep.

'...and that M'tud, concludes the case for the prosecution.'

"Are you ready for the working breakfast?"

'What makes you think that he doesn't want you?'

'Yawn! I'll toss you to see who goes...'

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

'How's the new insomnia pill going?'

'Sleeping like a baby'

"They say yoga is good for insomnia."

"I'm bored."

"Yecch! How can something so sweet put out something so yucky?"