Sleep-deprived Hero Pillows

"Puffiness and dark circles under the eyes, sniffles, trouble sleeping, rashes...you don't have allergies...you have children."

Tired Barbie

"I gotta tell you, doc, this insomnia has been wreaking havoc with my ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound."

'Settle down now and Daddy will take you for a nice ride.'

"Yecch! How can something so sweet put out something so yucky?"

"Having a new baby can make you feel a bit tired, sometimes you forget things."

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

'Pretty please stay asleep till the morning,'

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

"Call him Koffee- he keeps us awake!"

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

'I can't sleep. I'm too awake.'

"So much for 'sleeping like a baby.'"

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

'When I had my baby I learned the meaning of 24/7.'

"I'll give you 15 minutes, no biting."

Tired - Stressed - Tired.

"Yes I really do need a glass of water. My duvets on fire."

'Yawn! I'll toss you to see who goes...'

There Are Two Rules to Baby Club......

"Today is my second birthday and I wanted to let you know that I intend to take full advantage of my terrible twos!"

'What makes you think that he doesn't want you?'

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

"I'm bored."

"They say yoga is good for insomnia."

"Mommy is taking the nap that you refused to take."

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

"Tomorrow we go back to the hospital and replace him with a quieter model!"

Crying parent holds crying baby.

'It has had phenomenal growth and, for those involved, an atmosphere crawling with excitement. Congratulations, Hawkins, for heading our Bed Bug division.'