Sleep-deprived Humor Lover Pillows

'Mom, did you know that if you turn the clock upside down, '4:45' spells 'Shh?''

"Oooh, I know what I want to be when I grow up: Retired!"

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

"Good grief, Bradbury! How long have you been working at home?"

"Today is my second birthday and I wanted to let you know that I intend to take full advantage of my terrible twos!"

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

"I'm so tired: Joey was tossing and turning in his sleep the whole night and kept waking me up..."

'Wake up! You're kissing the sheet again...'

'It's your turn, dear.'

'Peel is sleeping badly.' - 'He seems very bright.' - 'Yes.' - 'Bright babies often sleep badly.' - 'Waaaaah!' - 'I want a thick baby.' - 'Zzzzzzz'

"What time should we wake him for breakfast?"

No caption (Aliens ride in a spaceship. Their luggage is stowed in a clear capsule underneath the craft).

"Just a reminder, … I'll be billing all seven personalities together."

'Oh Jerry! Like in that old song, you really caught a falling star for me! This is sooo romantic!'

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

'And don't bother your father. He tossed and turned all winter.'

"Oh Oh . . . Looks like our five o'clock wake up call is here!"

'It happens every night - just as you're trying to get some sleep,he starts fluttering about'.

Your fingers' worst nightmares

Things my cat says at 3 am

'...and why shouldn't she be sleeping with your next door neighbour - she's my wife!'

"Just go already!" "One could scarcely desire more delightful conditions for a nocturnal ramble..."

More Hamptons

I can't sleep, tell me about your day.

"Your snoring is really getting out of control."

"How long before we can tell him we're exhausted?"

'Marmaduke, wake up! You're barking in your sleep again!'

"I can't remember how to fall asleep. What do you have for insomnesia?"

'I told you not to drink coffee before hibernating!'

"A child is like coffee. It's easy to make, but then won't let you sleep."

Guys, I still can't sleep. I can't stop worrying. The caf

'...Now the other leg.'

"You can outsource homework, but outsourcing a test would be very tricky."

"I used to ooze sexuality, but it turned out to just be Chlamydia."