Sleep Humor Aficionado Pillows

Your fingers' worst nightmares

"Your snoring is really getting out of control."

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Do not disturb...

'It's not Spring yet! Go back to sleep!'

This is our 36th nap today - I can't read you a bedtime story EVERY time.

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

'What's in going to be, a nip or a nap.'

It's called "taking a nap," Lance, and no, I don't want to see any Rorschach inkblots.

'How can I get mad at him for sleeping on the job? It was me who told him naps were good for your health.'

"He snores from October to May!"

The downside of the cupcake bed.

"An alarm clock?! Wow... What have I done to make you hate me so much, Louise?"

'We'll take it!'

'What gave him this idea?'

'Marsha, are we going to let a little rough sea spoil our night on the boat? Go back to sleep.'

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

'Wake up! You're kissing the sheet again...'

'No spring cleaning for me: I get a cleaner to come over in winter while we're asleep...'

With some regularity, loony old Uncle Mort rants about his political theories and blatherings. Today: His long-winded theory about the debt-ceiling negotiations. Feel free to nod off … It's the escalation of a religious war in this country. I'm listening, sort of. Those of us who believe in the role of government believe that mankind can improve our lot through innovation, investment, science. But those who oppose government essentially believe that our fate lies with God. Wake up, I'm pontifica

'It's your turn, dear.'

"Sleep mode."

"My doctor sad I need to concentrate on a monotone to get to sleep. Tell me about your day."

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum.'

"What do you mean the company's been relocated and the building demolished...?! That must have been some nap!"

'It's the most amazing case of rapid eye movement I've ever seen.'

'Take it easy, Mom, Dad promised to mow the lawn as soon as he wakes up.'

"Would you please turn that off and hibernate."

Every falls asleep.

Bear hibernating with seasonal alarm-clock next to bed.

'Peel is sleeping badly.' - 'He seems very bright.' - 'Yes.' - 'Bright babies often sleep badly.' - 'Waaaaah!' - 'I want a thick baby.' - 'Zzzzzzz'

If I nap now, I'll never be able to nap ten more times before bed.