Sleeping Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'Marmaduke, wake up! You're barking in your sleep again!'

The downside of the cupcake bed.

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

"I see you like to let your actions do the talking."

'You're so sophisticated and witty...and muscular...do you work out? Why, yes, I'd love to come back to your place.'

'Wake up! You're kissing the sheet again...'

'It's the most amazing case of rapid eye movement I've ever seen.'

Remote Toaster

"I hate it when the baby f**ks my face."

'What the...? Bleeeeccchhh!' 'Hey, where's my hanky?'

'Oh man, really shouldn't have had that coffee in June,'

Estate Agents - Now in!! Affordable houses (flooded).

Alcoholidays: Beethovens fifth.

'It happens every night - just as you're trying to get some sleep,he starts fluttering about'.

Thirsty Fish.

Do you have any pull with the IRS?

Things my cat says at 3 am

'Have you been eating fermented birdseed again?'

'Mom, did you know that if you turn the clock upside down, '4:45' spells 'Shh?''

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

"Crawford's hard at work, I see!"

Your fingers' worst nightmares

Please tell me you were sleepswimming again.

I can't sleep, tell me about your day.

"Gotta run. Here's my Uber."

"Since I hate small talk and I hate big talk, I guess I won't be talking."

"A child is like coffee. It's easy to make, but then won't let you sleep."

'I'll call you back. I'm sleepwalking.'

'So we're all agreed, the snail did it. Now we just have to figure out which direction he went.'

"Your snoring is really getting out of control."

Wireless Plans. Cellphone. No, "rollover minutes" has nothing to do with hitting the snooze alarm and going back to sleep.

"They were great snorers."

'One illegal sheep movement...two illegal sheep movement...three illegal...'

Accounting Sheep.

"Do you remember how cold my feet were when I got into bed last night?"