Sleeping Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'Marmaduke, wake up! You're barking in your sleep again!'

The downside of the cupcake bed.

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

"I see you like to let your actions do the talking."

'You're so sophisticated and witty...and muscular...do you work out? Why, yes, I'd love to come back to your place.'

'It's the most amazing case of rapid eye movement I've ever seen.'

"I hate it when the baby f**ks my face."

Remote Toaster

'Oh man, really shouldn't have had that coffee in June,'

Estate Agents - Now in!! Affordable houses (flooded).

Alcoholidays: Beethovens fifth.

'It happens every night - just as you're trying to get some sleep,he starts fluttering about'.

Thirsty Fish.

Do you have any pull with the IRS?

"Crawford's hard at work, I see!"

'Mom, did you know that if you turn the clock upside down, '4:45' spells 'Shh?''

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

Things my cat says at 3 am

Your fingers' worst nightmares

'Have you been eating fermented birdseed again?'

I can't sleep, tell me about your day.

"A child is like coffee. It's easy to make, but then won't let you sleep."

"Gotta run. Here's my Uber."

"Since I hate small talk and I hate big talk, I guess I won't be talking."

'I'll call you back. I'm sleepwalking.'

'So we're all agreed, the snail did it. Now we just have to figure out which direction he went.'

"Your snoring is really getting out of control."

"They were great snorers."

'One illegal sheep movement...two illegal sheep movement...three illegal...'

Accounting Sheep.

"Do you remember how cold my feet were when I got into bed last night?"

'You have the right to remain silent...'