Ski Slope Jesters Gifts

Ski kicker.

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

Rodins rotten juggler

"Any other skills?"

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'It must be a milkfish.'

'Sorry, kids, I forgot we live in Michigan.'

Bunny Slope

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

"He damaged a nerve when he pulled the thorn out. I'd have had a surefire malpractice suit if I hadn't eaten him."

'What do you think I'm doing? The doctor told me to collect a mid stream urine specimen."

Turkey Hostage.

Banana Arcade Game

'Cheetah?... Boy?...Simba?... Jane?....'

"It's creepy the way they play with their food."

"Every Christmas you make a lot of primises you never keep, why don't you become a politian."

"Doctor, don't you have a conflict of interest by owning a ski resort?"

"It's not as easy as it looks."

'You should change your bait. That's the third time you've caught a jet ski this morning!'

101 uses of a dead cat: skis.

'What with Obama and all his giveaways, I'm surprised you're still in business.'

'It sounds like the Zulu Standup Comic tribe is restless tonight! I hear rimshots!'

"Paul is a saint, Minneapolis, no way!!"

'I told you we should have read the fine print when the accountant said we'd be getting 10,000 bucks a month in our retirement.'

"It's our version of the doggy bag. Permit me to take it to madam's car."

'The weather was much too rotten to go to work.'

Skiing Race

Man denies seeing two men when he is asked.

How to run a marathon.

"Oh yeah, well I say you're black!"

Who's the wise guy!

'Thank you sir. His grace is in the library lighting farts.'