Skeptical Searchers Gifts

To Doctor Goggle and Nurse Alexa. . . 'Thanks for Nothing!'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"Nihilistic customer service"

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."

"Can atheists refuse to participate?"

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

Michel de Montaigne

"Hmmm. I'm gonna have to Google this."

I just knew this would be dull.

"Nope! Not that one! They still believe that 'gods' created the universe!"

I was just watching a Youtube video called "How a Lack of Bird Poop Proved the Big Bang." It wan about how removing all sources of interference from a huge radiation detector led to the discovery of cosmic background radiation. They'd removed everything that might've been messing up the readings, and the last thing they removed was bird droppings. Then they knew the signals were real, and from space. I'm gonna have to watch that for myself, I'm not sure you've got all the details right. I was di

Man to man re: crackpot's sign that says, 'Your Nutty Idea Here': Everybody's out to make a buck these days.

Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine. I am not your Uncle Mort, I am someone else altogether. Oh yeah? Who are you? I am … Drinkum … Coffeeman … Worthington-Smythe … of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes. You may have heard of us ... we're a family of um ... Troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix. So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that? Google is an abomination!!! One ge

"Thank you for not praying."

'We're worried about your ability to lend us money.'

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

"I guess I can’t prove I exist either."

'I see you reaching into your wallet for a twenty dollar bill.'

'No! Romance with malice aforethought!'

Falcon finds Waldo

"That brings us to your search history."

"Welcome to the new Drone 747, remotely controlled from a rented office in Calcutta."

'Is the 'living happily ever after' part just spin?'

"Tell me about yourself. I work mainly by extrapolation."

"You prayed for me to stop mocking your religion, yet I'm still doing it? It's almost as if your god is not real."

"No, I'm sorry - tall, dark, handsome and smelly won't do!"

How psychics keep out the riffraff...

Information. Speculation.

'If you trust your search engine more than you trust me, maybe you should switch doctors.'

'Following our homeopathic principles, the less evidence there is that it works. The stronger the proof.'

I'll start believing in phantom withdrawals, when I get one case of a phantom deposit.